Freeze
by lookingforthestars
Summary: Walter has always sacrificed for the greater good. So what happens when Paige's decision during a case saves his life at the expense of others?
1. Seconds

**Yeah, this is going to be really angsty. And maybe a little OOC? But if you're interested, let me know and I'll continue it. I'm only thinking 3-4 chapters anyway. Bite-size angst. Thanks for jumping on the crazy train, as always!**

 _Oh god. Oh god. Oh god._

Paige sucked in a breath, her lungs burning. That wasn't supposed to happen. That wasn't…

All the numbness she'd felt in the SUV dissolved into choking panic. They weren't supposed to die. And yet that was exactly what she knew would happen, _had_ to know would happen, because why else would she stop Walter from getting to them?

Eighty-four seconds left, ticking by faster than it seemed like they should, and Walter had faced worse odds. He'd faced worse odds and succeeded. This wasn't the first bomb Scorpion had encountered. Not even the deadliest. _I can outrun the blast radius in sixty-four seconds, but I have to get everyone off the second floor._

Typical Walter. Thinking about everyone but himself, his own survival of secondary importance, if any. _That's cutting it close,_ Toby had muttered over the comms. _If he has to stop to help someone, there's no way he'll make it out in time._

Nine people on the second floor of the research facility. Nine people who had kissed their families goodbye and driven to work, unaware that was the day a homegrown terrorist unit would send everything up in flames.

And the day Paige would let them.

 _Damnit._ Walter swore. He never swore. _Paige, the power surge locked the door. I can't open it from here. You need to enter the override code._

Her voice hadn't sounded right. It sounded like it was coming from someone else. _I can't._

Her fingers hovered above the keypad, tears blurring her vision. 7-9-5-2-8. Entering it would be the easiest thing she'd ever done for a mission. Just like dialing a number on her old flip phone. _What do you mean? The code isn't working?_

Seventy-two seconds. His odds were dwindling. Her throat closed up.

Paige glanced up at the screen. The bunker door was secure. He'd followed one of the men down there before Toby realized, a second too late, that it was a distraction to mask the real location of the remote detonator. There wasn't enough time to reach and disarm the bomb, but Walter was confident that he could reverse the detonator's signal to stop the timer until the building was clear.

Sixty-six seconds. No detonator. _Paige. Paige, talk to me!_

She hadn't responded. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

Walter called for the other team members, but Paige was the only person in the control center. Far enough to be safe from the blast. Too far to reach him in time.

Fifty-two seconds. The window was gone.

But he was safe where he was. The bunker was built to withstand explosions up to seven times the strength of this impact.

Maybe the nine had gotten out of their sealed lab. Gotten the message. Gotten to safety.

There was nothing Walter could do for them now, anyway.

He was still yelling her name through the comms when the ground shook underneath her.

* * *

She woke up the moment his feet touched the stairs.

Paige straightened in the bed, adjusting her loose blouse and smoothing her hair with her fingers. True to his instincts, Walter fled as soon as he was cleared by medics. He got into a car with Cabe and she let them go, knowing he would be safe with the agent while he cleared his head. He wasn't used to losing people. He hadn't done it in years.

In any other circumstances, he would find comfort in her. Cling to her like he'd done after every difficult case since they started dating. But that wouldn't happen tonight. One look at her and even with his limited EQ, he knew this wasn't a technical glitch. It was a choice—made out of fear, in the heat of the moment, but a conscious choice nonetheless.

"I'm not ready to talk to you." Paige jumped, startled to see him in the doorway of the loft, his hands shoved into his pockets. His stare was hard and for the second time that day she felt frozen in place. "Please go home."

She bit her lip. "Walter, I am...so, so sorry."

His bloodshot eyes dropped to the floor. Paige didn't know where he'd been all day, but he clearly hadn't slept. He looked ready to collapse. "Two people survived. They've found four bodies. The other three were unaccounted for as of ten minutes ago." The genius swallowed, his voice dying out for what felt like hours before he spoke again. "You had the code. You chose not to enter it."

Paige wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement. It didn't matter. She wouldn't lie to him. She couldn't reap the benefits of her decision—Walter's life—without also accepting the consequences. "Yes."

"I don't understand, Paige."

Of course he didn't. Time had been on his side. But not by enough.

She angled to face him, twisting her hands nervously in her lap. "I was trying to protect you," she said, her voice quiet but determined. "That bomb was going off no matter what we did and you were s-safe where you were."

Walter shook his head, still refusing to meet her eyes. "My calculations were correct. I had time to reach the second floor and evacuate the building before—."

"Maybe." The word barely made it out of her throat. "In a perfect world, maybe. But I couldn't take that risk. If you'd gotten out of that bunker, there was no way you would have left any of those people behind. Saving them could have cost you your life."

"So we let them die instead?"

Nausea bubbled in Paige's stomach. Scorpion had failed to save people before, but the ones paying the price were usually criminals. Not civilians, not innocents. And never this many at once. "We tried to warn them. There's no guarantee you would have been able to reach them in time. Get them out." She curled her fingers into her palms, suddenly aware that she was shaking. "Maybe we were just going to lose this one, Walter."

"That wasn't your call," the genius said sharply. "As the leader of this team, I made a decision based on facts that you overruled because of an illogical—."

"Illogical?" she snapped, her visceral reaction surprising even her. "Have you ever stopped to think that you were being illogical? Telling yourself you were capable of saving everyone when you weren't? You're so convinced that they would be alive if you left the bunker, but you _don't know_ that."

"Nine lives to one, Paige. Regardless of the outcome, those odds were worth fighting for. I've accepted an equivalent amount of risk to save one life, and you have _never_ tried to stop me before."

"I know. I know." She couldn't explain it. The paralyzing fear. The split-second indecision. The selfishness of prioritizing Walter's survival above others, even though she knew it was the last thing he would want. She couldn't defend it. It just was. "I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say but I'm sorry. And I don't expect you to understand right now, but maybe once this all cools down, you'll be able to—."

"No."

The word slammed into her, sucked the air out of her lungs, made her ache all at once. "No what?" she asked, which was stupid. She already knew the answer.

"You want me to understand why you did what you did. But I can't." Walter set his jaw, every muscle in his body tensed as he stared past her to the wall. "You went against everything Scorpion stands for. Everything I believe in. I don't know how to accept that."

 _I don't know how to forgive you._ That was what he really meant. Paige stifled the sob in her chest. "Walter, please." He finally looked at her, his stoicism cracking slightly at the sight of her barely holding it together. "Haven't you done stupid things to save me? Things that put our missions at risk? I will _always_ carry the guilt of today with me. Forever. But you're alive, and if I'm a horrible person for caring about that more than anything else, then so be it. I need you, Walter. Always." Her hand was still trembling as she placed it on her abdomen. "But especially right now."

The abrupt shift in his expression told her he knew exactly what she was implying. "You..."

"Yeah." She pressed her lips together, her other hand covering the first. "I'm pregnant, Walter."


	2. Don't Panic

**Sorry to leave it there for so long! Tons of overtime at work plus major home improvement equals zero time for hobbies. But thank you thank you thank you for the great reviews on the first chapter. Really meant a lot.**

 _"Yeah." She pressed her lips together, her other hand covering the first. "I'm pregnant, Walter."_

Paige had always imagined that it would be different with Walter. None of the _what are we going to do?_ that plagued her pregnancy with Ralph. None of the thinly-veiled panic in Drew's eyes or the constant uncertainty about how they were going to provide for a baby. None of the distance that grew and grew until one day she looked up and she was alone.

She and Walter were adults. They were in love, financially stable, blessed with a strong support system. He would hold her, kiss her, tell her happy he was, and they would celebrate by themselves for a while before sharing the news with the rest of the team.

That was the way it was supposed to be.

The genius drew in a sharp breath. "How long?"

"Three weeks," Paige said softly, looking down at her stomach. "The doctor had me to do a bunch of tests since I was a new patient. It probably would have taken me longer to find out otherwise. She just called this morning." His silence sounded deafening in the loft and she kept talking if for no other reason than to fill it. "I was going to tell you after the case. When everything settled down."

 _You should have told him earlier. Or waited. Anything but this._

Walter swallowed. "Is that...why?"

He only seemed capable of asking questions. That was okay. That meant he hadn't shut down entirely. This was so, so much to process. It had to be, for him, because she barely had a handle on it herself. "I guess. Partially. I don't know." Paige braced herself and lifted her head to meet his impenetrable expression. "I chose you, Walter. I chose certain life for you over a _chance_ of saving others and that might not seem logical to you, but it was to me. And I would do it again because I love you, and we're going to have a family and I can't…" She closed her eyes to push back the tears that were starting to collect. "I can't do this alone. Not again."

Paige was glad she couldn't see his face when he answered, "Four people will never get to go home to their families. Maybe more."

She dropped her head into her hands, taking deep breaths to steady herself. He wasn't saying that to twist the knife. It was a fact, and despite his improved EQ, facts were the only way he was able to face trauma. "I know," Paige murmured. "But no matter how hard we try, there's nothing we can do to change that. It's over. We have to pick up the pieces and figure out how to move forward."

"That's easy for you to say. You had control over the outcome."

She cringed at the word. Did he really think this would be easy for her? That she wouldn't lay awake tonight and a hundred nights after it, questioning her decision and rewriting a better ending in her head?

Defending her pain wouldn't help right now. Paige stood up, crossing over to Walter and tentatively placing her hands on his face, half expecting him to push her away. He tensed but didn't move. "You're right," she said, her voice thick. "I made the decision. The guilt is on me. All of it. And you can blame me if you need to, but please don't let this tear you apart."

Walter was strong. Stronger than he thought. But maybe not enough to survive another Baghdad.

He shook his head. "You had no right to make that choice for me."

"I'm sorry, Walter. I'm so sorry." Paige dropped her hands, taking one of his and putting it on her abdomen. He wouldn't be able to feel any movement yet—it was far too early—but maybe he would feel _something,_ the same intangible protectiveness she'd felt the second she found out. "In the moment, all I could think about was how much I wanted this baby to know you. How much I didn't want Ralph to lose his father. All those times you traded yourself for me because you said Ralph couldn't lose me, it's all the same for you." She brought her other hand up to his chest, curling her fingers into his shirt. He'd come so far. Once upon a time, he struggled with contact under the best of circumstances, and now despite his emotional overload he hadn't removed his palm from her stomach. "We're a family, Walter. Families protect each other. I don't expect you to be okay with what happened today, but I did it because we need you. _I_ need you."

He was so quiet. Paige didn't know if she had gotten through to him, if he wanted nothing to do with her, if he was thrilled about the baby or horrified. They hadn't discussed it, but until tonight, she'd never pictured a future in which she would have to do this without him.

"Walter, please say something," she begged when the silence became too much and her patience dissolved. "Whatever you're feeling, I can handle it. Please tell me."

"I c-can't." Tears sprang to her eyes almost instantly as he stepped back, letting his hand drop as he stared at the floor. "I n-need to think."

Paige reminded herself to breathe through the tightness in her chest. Of course he needed time to process. It didn't mean she'd lost him for good. "Yeah. Okay." She bit her lip, blinking back the moisture as her fingers instinctively clutched the hem of her top. "Okay."

Part of her hoped against hope that he would stop her as she grabbed her purse and stepped around him to leave the loft, but the rest of her knew it was inevitable that he wouldn't.

* * *

Everything was wrong.

She was supposed to be in Walter's bed, secure in his arms, getting lost in the sweet words he whispered when they were alone. Regardless of the obstacles they faced—and there were plenty—Paige never harbored any doubt that he was the one. The love of her life. The man who was devoted enough to never leave her, as long as she wanted him there.

But she'd done perhaps the only thing he couldn't forgive.

Didn't she get a say in any of this? How could Walter expect her to indulge his recklessness, accept the seemingly endless risk of losing him? Couldn't living for them be more important than dying for someone else, even once?

"Mom?" Ralph peered through the crack in the door. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, baby, I'm fine," she lied, glancing over at the clock. It was almost midnight. "What are you doing up?"

"I can hear you crying."

"Oh god, I'm sorry." She straightened up, smoothing out her T-shirt. He'd been asleep by the time she got home to relieve the babysitter, but apparently her attempts not to disturb him were fruitless. "It's nothing, honey. Go back to sleep."

"We both know that's not going to happen."

Paige sighed, wiping hastily at her mascara-stained cheeks before she climbed out of bed and pushed open the door. Ralph wasn't even a step inside before he slid his arms around her waist, unsure of why she needed comfort but willing to provide it all the same. Her hands came up to his hair and it took every ounce of self-control not to break down entirely at the loving gesture.

"I don't deserve a kid as great as you," she whispered, kissing the top of his head. "Thank you."

The young genius nodded and pulled back. "What's wrong?"

"It's...complicated, Ralph."

"I am one of the smartest people in the world," he shrugged, plopping down on the edge of her mattress and crossing his legs in front of him. She followed suit. "You're crying and Walter isn't here, so logically, you had a fight. Right?"

One of the side effects of a life filled with geniuses was zero secrecy. As much as she'd tried to protect Ralph from the more painful aspects of the world, of their world, he was never satisfied with part of the truth. "Yes," Paige said with as much calmness as she could muster for him. "Walter and I had a fight and things are...they're not good right now."

"Oh." He tapped his fingers on his knee, looking characteristically pensive. "How do we fix it?"

Paige smiled despite herself, reaching up to rub his back. " _We_ don't fix anything. I'll figure it out. Please don't worry about it, okay?"

"No promises."

She hesitated, debating her next words. Ralph was going to figure it out sooner or later—probably sooner—and she wanted to make damn sure that he heard it from her first. "There's something else." He looked up at her curiously, and Paige had a few false starts before she could finally say it out loud. "I'm, um...I'm pregnant. It's still really early. But I guess you're going to get the sibling you didn't know you wanted."

He grinned at her lame joke. "Really?"

Paige nodded, grateful that he seemed pleased by the news. She needed someone to be. "Really."

"Wait." Ralph's expression changed abruptly, his smile fading. "Is that what you and Walter are fighting about?"

Paige shook her head, terrified to think what Ralph might be imagining. That she cheated on him? That Walter was another deadbeat who disappeared at the first sign of responsibility? Whatever it was, she was sure it wasn't anywhere close to the truth. "No. No, of course not. He, um…" She trailed off, suddenly realizing that she still didn't know how Walter felt about being a father. It was possible he didn't know yet. "I told him. But we have a lot of other stuff to work through first and there's a chance that...that I m-might be on my own here."

Her eyes stung and her throat closed up at the thought alone, and she didn't want to scare Ralph, didn't want him to see how small and raw and incapable she felt, but he knew. He always knew.

"It's okay, mom." He turned toward her, eyebrows furrowed. "You won't be on your own. You have the team, and you have me, because I'm older now and I can help with things. It's gonna be okay."

Looking down at her son, Paige mused that if her and Walter's child was half as incredible as Ralph, it _would_ be okay. It would be worth all of this. "Thank you, baby."


	3. Reality

"Paige coming in today?"

Walter looked up, surprised to see Cabe so early in the morning. At least, it had been early when he came downstairs to attack a problematic section of code. Everything after that was a bit of a blur. "No," he answered shortly before turning his attention back to his laptop.

His work was rudely interrupted as the agent reached out and shut the lid, giving him an annoying look he could only describe as _paternal_. "It's been three days. Is she coming back?"

 _I'm going to take some time off. Just until I'm needed for a case. I think that's best._ It was Paige's idea. Homeland hadn't called with an assignment since the bombing, and Walter put an unofficial freeze on picking up private jobs. For once, everyone had the good sense not to challenge him.

He texted back a brief _okay_ and that was that. Although she'd betrayed what he considered the core mission of Scorpion, he had no intention of forcing her out. Each member made poor decisions in the heat of the moment and Paige's contributions over the years had spared hundreds, even thousands of lives. And that wasn't even factoring in the riot he would have on his hands if the team found out he'd let her go again.

"Yes. When she's ready." Walter reopened his laptop, purposefully avoiding the older man's skeptical expression. "Cabe, I'm busy."

"You're distracting yourself."

"I believe _you're_ distracting me."

The agent walked away, but Walter's relief was short-lived as he returned almost immediately with his rolling chair and sat down next to the desk. No one else was in yet. He supposed Cabe had only arrived early for the purposes of this conversation, which he berated himself for failing to discern and avoid. "Walter, you can't pretend nothing happened. You of all people understand how that plays out."

He blew out a breath through his nose, his fingers faltering on the keyboard. "I'm processing."

"You're hiding. And when Paige is ready to return, you better be ready too. Or she's going to take about two seconds of you icing her out and walk right back out again. Maybe permanently."

"It's not going to be permanent," he rebutted, his tongue overriding his brain. Walter regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.

"Yeah? How do you know?"

He swallowed. It wasn't a secret he could keep for long. Cabe had pieced together the clues during Happy's false alarm, and depending on how early Paige started showing, the whole team would crack the case soon enough. "She's pregnant," he said quietly.

Cabe's eyes went wide, his jaw dropping slightly. "You guys are having a baby?"

Walter nodded. He was still staring at his computer, so it came as somewhat of a surprise when the agent pulled him into an inescapable hug. He didn't bother to struggle. This type of physical contact was far less uncomfortable for him now than it used to be, and he knew an announcement of this magnitude typically warranted such a response.

"Hot damn," Cabe grinned as he released the genius. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"Yeah." Raising children never felt like a potential path for his life. But Paige was such a good mother, and his connection with Ralph was so strong, that one day he'd woken up and realized it didn't seem that far-fetched anymore.

He wasn't going to abandon her, of course. He would provide whatever support he was capable of to ensure that this child wouldn't struggle the way Ralph had for so many years. But everything beyond that was still muddled.

Cabe's excitement faded at Walter's noncommittal response. "What did you say when she told you?"

"N-Nothing," he admitted. The genius knew his mentor would be disappointed in him. Walter didn't blame him. His inability to accept and respond to the news appropriately, at the moment Paige needed him most, made him wonder if her work to develop his EQ was ultimately futile. "I found out...right after. I told her I needed time to think. She understood."

"Oh, kid," Cabe sighed, a toxic mix of disapproval and pity in his eyes. "I know you don't want to, but put yourself in her shoes. She's got just as much guilt as you, probably more. And now she's pregnant and scared she'll have to do this alone again. If you love her, now isn't the time to turn your back on her."

He was right. Walter didn't want to feel empathy. It had always seemed like too much to bear another person's pain on top of his own. Maybe he was just selfish.

"I-I always thought that she understood me," he muttered, curling his left hand until his nails dug into his palm. "But she made a decision that goes against everything I've dedicated my life to. All the values I founded Scorpion on. Perhaps that's a sign that she's not…" He swallowed the bitter taste on his tongue. "Not the person I'm meant to be with."

Cabe observed him for a few seconds that felt much, much longer. "I say this with love, son." He shook his head. "You're full of shit."

"Excuse me?"

"You've put other people in jeopardy to save Paige before. I've seen it. This isn't about your values, it's about you believing that you're the only person who gets to make a sacrifice for the greater good. It's about the fact that this one time you survived and other people died, and you still think so little of yourself that you can't accept that. Well guess what?" Walter knew better than to interrupt Cabe in the middle of a stern speech. He'd learned that lesson as a child, and right now he very much felt like one. "If that's the life you wanted, then you screwed up bringing anyone else into it. Because that woman loves you so much, and her priority, after Ralph, will always be to protect you. Anyone on the team would have made the same choice. And I guarantee that anyone who knew and loved those six people who died would have chosen to save them over anyone else. It's human nature, Walter."

"It should have been my decision," he said, ignoring the painful tightening in his chest. "I knew what I was doing."

"I'm not a genius, kid. I don't know the math. If you'd gotten out of that bunker, can you say with absolute certainty that you had time to save everyone and get out alive?"

"Of course I did."

"Really?"

"Yes," he argued emphatically, annoyed by the interrogation. "I only needed sixty-four seconds to clear the blast radius and I had—."

"Walter."

"Eight-four seconds before the bomb detonated, which was more than—."

"Walter."

"Enough time to get to the lab and pull the alarm before I—."

"Walter!" he snapped. "I'm asking you if there was a fraction of a chance that you weren't going to make it!"

"I don't know!" Walter blurted out, his frustration getting the better of him. One look at Cabe's knowing expression and he realized he'd walked straight into the agent's trap. " _I don't know._ Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"It's what you need to hear." The genius swallowed, suddenly feeling a little lightheaded. Cabe leaned forward, resting a hand on his arm. "You hate uncertainty, so you convinced yourself that you were right. Paige was looking out for you and no one on the team blames her for that but you. I know what it's like to push someone you love away because you can't cope and I am telling you right now that's a mistake."

Rebecca. The loss of a child often tore couples apart, but the guilt of not being there to support his wife had always weighed heavily on Cabe.

Their circumstances were different. But not that different. "It turned out okay. Y-You met Allie."

"Yes. And she's amazing. But I had a lot of pretty lonely years before that, and I don't want that for you." His voice was thick with emotion when he added, "You've got something people would kill for. Don't give up on it."

* * *

Days before Homeland called with another case: Four.

Unsent texts written to Paige: Fifteen.

Total hours slept since talking to Cabe: Twelve.

Clarity received: Very little.

Despite his stubbornness, Walter was willing to accept that Cabe's words might have some truth. Perhaps he'd convinced himself that the situation was under control when, in reality, Scorpion's chances of success were always limited. Perhaps Paige had seen something he was blind to. It wouldn't have been the first time.

But as many times as he considered reaching out to her, as many times as he wanted to, he kept holding back. He wasn't a great deal closer to processing the events of that day and he feared having a conversation with her before then would only make things worse. Time waited for no man, however.

"Uh, Paige." She stopped, making a signal to indicate that she would join Happy shortly, and followed Walter as he walked to a quieter spot. Her return to the garage had been somewhat awkward, and the pressing nature of the case meant they hadn't had much time to talk. He wasn't sure what to say, anyway. "I just w-wanted to see how you were feeling."

"Oh." She bit her lip, her nervous expression softening slightly. Regardless of what happened between them, he didn't plan on removing himself from their child's life. Her pregnancy seemed like a neutral and important topic to address. "Um, good. I made all my appointments with the doctor and I've started taking the prenatal vitamins."

"G-Good," he echoed. "You'll keep me apprised of any developments?"

Paige drew in a breath and nodded. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, but he was sure it wasn't very complimentary to him. "Yeah. Of course."

"Okay. I'll, uh, be on the comms if you and Happy need me," he said, nodding to the office building where he would be attempting to regain control of the crane's computer system. It wasn't strictly necessary. She already knew the plan.

"Got it." Without a more graceful way to end their exchange, Paige walked away, toward a visibly impatient mechanic. He hated how stilted their communication had become. It was his fault, of course, but he supposed that it was an acceptable first step. Better than the week of radio silence they'd just endured.

He missed her. Even the impossibly emotionally stunted Walter from three years ago would know that. He missed her daily presence in the garage, dinners with her and Ralph, the hole they seemed to fill in his life without even trying. But every time he saw her, thought about her, the memories came rushing back and he couldn't breathe. Maybe one day he could be around her without recalling the death and destruction they were unable to stop. He didn't know for sure.

Walter pushed the thoughts out of his head for the next several hours, pouring his energy into retracing the steps of a masterful hacker. He'd nearly found a way to get a step ahead when Sylvester burst into the room, breathless and heaving. "We have to get them off the scaffolding," he gasped. "Call Paige and Happy. They're not responding to the comms."

"What?" Without waiting for an answer, Toby dialed the mechanic's number. They had a clear view of the two women and quickly realized that Happy couldn't hear or feel her phone over the hum of machinery.

"The chemicals leaking from those underground drums eroded the base and it's going to give way any minute. I can't get ahold of them but they're in serious danger."

Walter and Toby looked at each other for the briefest second before sprinting toward the stairs, the shrink repeatedly calling Happy on the way down to no avail. He was so stupid. He should have benched Paige as soon as he found out she was pregnant. Not that she ever would have stood for it. Instead, he'd unintentionally given her the most dangerous assignment.

 _She'll be okay. They'll be okay. They have to be._

He made it to the third floor before a deafening crack sounded and all Walter could do was watch, powerless, as the scaffolding collapsed.


	4. Guilt

**I always planned to keep this story short, so here is the last chapter. RATED M, just skip over the middle if you're not interested in smut (you'll have plenty of warning when it starts to get there). Review if you enjoyed it; fic writers tend to get a lot of reviews in the beginning and few at the end, which makes it seem like people have lost interest, even if they haven't. After this I'll be focusing on catching up on fics (I've missed a lot) and then I'll continue "Innocent" if people are still interested in that one. Thanks for reading!**

Walter refused to consider a negative outcome. Life-threatening situations were a dime a dozen in their line of work and they had always prevailed with science and a little luck. This would be no different. He'd pledged not to let anything happen to her, and he wasn't breaking that promise today.

If Toby or Sylvester said anything as they crossed the glass-paned bridge between the buildings and ran up the stairs two at a time, Walter didn't hear it. He didn't feel the burning in his lungs or answer his ringing phone or question why the hell their comms weren't functioning. He wasn't even sure he took a breath until he stumbled through the door to the roof and spotted the two women near the ledge, Happy crouching over Paige's unconscious form.

Walter raced toward them, dropping to his knees next to Paige and checking her pulse. Slow but consistent. He exhaled.

Toby was beside them in an instant, giving his wife a concerned once-over before turning his full attention to the liaison. "I saw your fifty missed calls and knew something had to be wrong," Happy explained. "I pushed her off the scaffold just before it collapsed but she fell. I think she might have hit her head."

"It's okay, turtledove, you saved her life." Toby lifted Paige's head, gently turning it to the side. "No blood. Call for a medivac, there's no way an ambulance will get through the chaos on the street."

Happy was already dialing for help, concern on her face. "Emergency services is going to be swamped. I don't know how long it'll take them to get here."

"If there's no internal bleeding or swelling, she'll be okay. But I can't say for sure without tests. I'll do what I can here, but…"

"She's pregnant," Walter blurted out, not particularly caring in the moment who knew or what they would say later. All that mattered was helping her, and any medical professional would give her a higher triage priority. "Tell them she's pregnant."

"Okay," Happy said. In the periphery of his mind, he was conscious of the team's stares, of the mechanic's slightly guilty expression, of the 9-1-1 operator's calm voice. But all he could focus on was Paige. "They'll be here in five minutes."

* * *

"Can you manage the stairs?"

Paige nodded, grasping onto the railing and stiffening slightly when the genius placed a hand on the small of her back. "I'm fine, Walter."

"I know, I just…" He trailed off, clearing his throat. "You should exercise caution."

She sighed and took the steps at a normal pace even though he could tell that putting weight on her left ankle was causing mild discomfort. Walter suspected she was minimizing her symptoms to avoid his hovering. She'd woken up in the helicopter and doctors quickly ruled out a concussion or hemorrhaging, but neither of them had been able to relax until the health of her pregnancy was similarly confirmed.

He released her long enough to unlock the front door to her apartment, watching her carefully as she crossed the threshold. Ralph had visited her earlier, in the hospital, before Sylvester took him for the day so Paige could relax. It was approaching three in the afternoon and Walter concluded that her complex was suitably quiet for several hours of uninterrupted rest. But he'd spent more than a few nights sleeping next to Paige, and it wasn't difficult to conclude that she was still too tense and agitated to unwind.

"Are you hungry?" Walter asked, placing her bags on the couch and heading into the kitchen. "I can make you soup if you have cans left. Or I can order from Kovelsky's or that Chinese place."

Paige didn't respond and he had a not-entirely-illogical spark of fear that something was wrong. He peered around the wall and let out a relieved breath when he saw her sitting on the couch, looking down at her clasped hands in her lap. "You don't have to stay, Walter," she said quietly when she realized he was waiting for an answer. "I'll be okay on my own. Or Cabe offered to come over, if you guys insist on having someone here."

The genius frowned. "I'm already here. It doesn't make sense for Cabe to drive all this way." He shrugged, confused by the odd suggestion. "Toby's on call in case you need further attention. I can work on my laptop while you rest. It's not a problem, Paige."

She drew in a deep breath, a fairly reliable cue that he'd misunderstood her. "I don't want you to stay," she admitted, her eyes not meeting his. "I won't sleep if you're here. I can't. It's…" Paige shook her head. "It's too much."

"Too…" He stopped abruptly, suddenly feeling like he had the fourth lowest IQ ever recorded. Only an idiot would have to ask what she meant. Only an idiot would think she wanted him around after he'd been so cold to her. "Paige—."

"God, Walter, I can't do this." She dropped her face into her hands, muffling her words slightly. "I need to get off this roller coaster. Just tell me it's over and leave so I can start figuring out how the hell to deal with this."

Walter froze, stunned. Cabe was right and he couldn't even see it. While he was wrapped up in anger and self-loathing, Paige was falling apart at the seams. How hollow was his greater good theory if the person he loved more than anything was paying the price for it?

He stepped forward tentatively and lowered himself to the opposite end of the couch, leaving an adequate amount of space between them. She was a force of nature, but in that moment, he was convinced she would crumble if he wasn't careful. "Paige, I was…" He swallowed, bracing himself for her reaction. There was a reason he'd insisted on being the one to bring her home. Letting her out of his sight was too difficult a prospect. "Today was one of the worst days of my life. Thinking that I lost you and the baby...I don't ever want to feel that way again."

That got her to look at him, at least. Her eyes were wet. He thought he might have seen her cry more that week than in the entire three years he'd known her.

"I would have done anything to guarantee your safety," the genius continued, running his hands nervously over his legs. "A-Anything. If all I had do was press a button, o-or…" He glanced over at her, all the emotions he'd been suppressing threatening to erupt and crush him. "Or not enter a code, I would have. I d-don't think I would make it if you didn't and I don't know if that's how you felt but it was—."

Walter was abruptly cut off by her lips on his, her fingers tangling in his hair. He hadn't even realized how much he missed her scent, the warmth of her body. It was immediately intoxicating.

There was nothing slow or gentle about her kiss. This was needy, forceful. Things were rarely rushed between them, but she was pushing him back against the cushions and straddling his lap before his brain caught up to what was happening. "P-Paige," he stuttered, his mental clarity fading rapidly. She'd always had that effect on him and part of him reveled in what she would call _an affirmation of life_ after his numbness in the hospital. "Paige, you're hurt."

"I'm okay," she said desperately, her tongue tracing his bottom lip and making him groan involuntarily. "Don't stop."

Paige rocked against him, sucking in a harsh breath as his hips responded. Her heat seeped through her clothing and the part of him that knew they were acting impulsively was all but powerless against the sensations she created for him. He'd been so terrified hours earlier that she was gone permanently, and having her in his arms was too comforting to give up.

"Oh god," she gasped when his lips dropped to her neck, his palms traveling under her shirt to her bare skin. There was a small bandage on the middle of her back where she'd sustained scratches from the concrete roof, but Paige's only reaction when he traced his finger around the edges was a quiet moan. Her ankle was still a concern, so he put one hand on her lower back and the other under her thigh to ease her down on the couch, supporting as much of his own weight as possible as he leaned over her.

Paige tugged at the hem of her white top, lifting up just enough to pull it over her head. It was too early for her to be showing, but the knowledge that she was carrying their child—something that was half of him and half of her, something that would always connect them—seemed to sink in for the first time. "Walter," she whined, impatient under his gaze. He was spared the task of thinking up the right thing to say, or thinking at all, when Paige deftly slipped off his shirt with only minimal assistance from him. Her palms smoothed over his chest and he shuddered, even more responsive to her touch than usual because of their separation. "Walter, I need you."

Her pleading short-circuited him and his body would betray any claim that he didn't need her just as much. He wanted to lose himself in her and let the rest of the world, all his fear and guilt and regret, fade into oblivion. It wasn't hard to imagine she was searching for that too.

Paige curled her leg around the back of his, seeking more friction and moaning as their hips met. He trapped her lips in a bruising kiss, fumbling awkwardly with the button of his pants until he could push them down adequately with his boxers. She ignored her skirt and reached underneath instead to pull her underwear over her legs. "Are you sure?" he breathed, because they'd been intimate a hundred times but never like this.

She nodded, a sharp sound escaping her mouth as he lifted her hips and pushed into her. Paige was never this wet without any buildup. She was tighter after a week apart and Walter grunted, feeling somehow both grounded and lost in another world. "I missed you," he murmured, burying his head in her neck and listening to her erratic pulse.

"Me too," she whispered, her voice strained. "Oh god, Walter."

Neither of them was going to last. Paige was tightening around him in a consistent rhythm, small moans accompanying most of her breaths, and Walter's speed increased as an almost automatic response. Despite the demands of their job, they didn't often resort to quick romantic interludes, and this sense of urgency was overwhelming. But he was long past the point of being able to slow down, if he'd ever had the control to do so in the first place.

Almost as quickly as it started, Paige was sinking her nails into his back, clinging to him for stability, pulsing around him in a seemingly endless wave. Hearing her whimper his name was more than enough to drag him under, make him shake with the unexpected intensity of his release. The only sound in the aftermath was them fighting to catch their breath, and she kept her arms and legs tangled around him, silently willing him not to move just yet.

Walter shut his eyes, the fog of desire finally starting to dissipate and allowing reality in its place. She was injured, she'd been through hell, he had treated her so badly. He had no right to this, no right to let his emotions run wild and give her far less than she deserved. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."

"Please don't leave," she said, her voice small. His chest ached. He knew she misunderstood.

"That's not what I meant. That's not what I meant," he murmured, shifting to the side so he could have this conversation without worrying about crushing her. She moved into the empty space, curling against him as he pulled her throw blanket off the back of the couch and covered them with it. Walter pressed a kiss to her hair, running his fingers over her exposed skin, which seemed to reassure her that he wasn't going to disappear. "We should have talked first."

"I know. We just..."

"Yeah." Nothing about what they'd done was logical or particularly smart, but his feelings for her hadn't always taken those things into consideration. "Paige, I know I screwed up."

She dropped her eyes, swallowing past the lump in her throat. "I needed you, Walter. I was scared and alone and I never thought it would be like that with you."

"Neither did I. I'm sorry. I thought I was better with you. Less selfish."

"You weren't all selfish," Paige said quietly, shaking her head. "I was selfish to save your life whatever the cost, but Walter, I wouldn't change it. Maybe you can't ever really forgive that, but I hope you can, because…" She pressed her lips together, struggling to keep her emotions in check. "I can't do this alone. I can't do this without you."

He brought his hand up to the curve of her neck, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "Of course you could. You're the strongest person I know."

"But I don't want to," she admitted. "I just want to fix this."

Walter let out a breath, once again overwhelmed. Maybe there wasn't a good place to start. He didn't know if there was a right thing to say, and maybe he just had to start by saying _something_ instead of shutting down. "A-After Baghdad…" He hated talking about this. He hardly ever did, even to her. "I blamed Cabe. Even before I knew...what he knew. But mostly I just hated myself. People were dead because of me, their lives were over, how could I live mine? What kind of person would I be if I let myself be happy after that?"

Paige didn't try to fill the silence that followed as he organized his thoughts. She knew he would get there eventually.

"That faded with time. I started Scorpion, I met you. I finally _was_ happy. We've lost people on cases, but it wasn't because of me. O-Or they were people who weren't innocent." He exhaled, forcing himself to keep going. "I feel the same now as I did when I was sixteen. People died, I survived, what kind of person am I if I'm happy with you and this baby? And I know it was wrong to blame you for what I couldn't handle, I know you did what I and probably anyone else would have done in the same situation, I know this is all weighing on you too, but I'm no closer to answering that question, Paige."

"Survivor's guilt."

"Something like that."

Paige thought for another moment, tugging the pillow down more comfortably by her head. "Being unhappy can't bring them back," she stated, looking up at him. "I can't say that your life is more or less valuable than theirs, except to me. To the people who love you. But I can say that you have saved thousands of people. Maybe millions. You being alive is not a waste, Walter. Whether you allow yourself to be happy or not, this world is a better place because of you. My world is a better place because of you."

Walter leaned down, capturing her lips. She reciprocated, scooting closer and threading her fingers into his curls. The world had seemed a much colder, emptier place before he met her.

He sighed when they separated, pressing his forehead to hers. "I don't know what to do here."

"I don't either." It was strange to hear her say it. She'd been his emotional compass since that first day at the diner, but she couldn't be his shortcut for everything. Some things were uncharted and the responsibility of navigating them couldn't all rest on her. "I was so scared of your reaction that I haven't really processed that day for myself. I hate what happened and I hate that I'll never know if there was a better choice or what to do if it happens again." Paige stroked his chest, his heart beating steadily under her hand. "But we can get through it. For us and for this child. I believe that."

Her belief that things would be better one day had helped her through years of struggling. And eventually they were. So he had to trust that she was right about this too.

Besides, choosing to be alone when he had so much right in front of him seemed impossible. "Okay. I'm here."


End file.
